Kyo's Damn iPod RETURNS!
by Teh Future Mrs. Kyo Sohma
Summary: That's right! But, in order to watch his porno, he must help a young girl trapped inside, called iLeena, find her brother iMax! Can he rescue iLeena before he finds out her secret? Can he resurrect Shiggy? Will he EVER be able to watch his porno?


**A/N:**

**Gasp! The iPod has come back to haunt (and maybe hurt) my dearest Kyo!**

**HOW VULGAR!**

**Disclaimer: I forgot to put it on the other one, but I own nothing.**

**Warnings: OOC, language, stuff that makes no sense.**

**BEGIN!**

_But Yuki and Kyo forgot even dead people have to poop._

Kyo rolled over in bed. There was something scratching at the back of his mind, as if it was warning. He clawed at his pillow, but nothing seemed to work. Figuring it would be Yuki and his evilness, he wandered up to Yuki's bedroom.

"Yuki?"

Yuki, who wasn't asleep anyway, was shocked to see Kyo leaning up against his door frame.

"What?"

"What did you do?"

"What do you mean?"

"I feel…" Kyo paused. "I feel all weird."

So Yuki got out of bed and dragged Kyo down the stairs. Yuki knew a few reasons why Kyo was probably feeling weird; because he was feeling it too. Yuki stopped in front of Shiggy's dead body.

"That,"

Kyo didn't understand. "Huh?"

"Yours, mine… our consciousness are feeling ANGST BECAUSE WE KILLED SHIGGY!"

Shiggy's body began to twitch. Well, should I say, his ASS began to twitch. Kyo suddenly felt like puking as he saw a very offending… object, fall from Shiggy's ass. It wasn't long before Kyo was hollering.

"THE DAMN IPOD RETURNS!" He hollered. "VIA SHIGGY'S ASS!"

And that's when it began.

Again.

.xxx.

The iPod, now smothered in brown ooze, had TV snow.

(TV snow is when the TV is on but all there is, is some crappy black and white stuff that buzzes).

Yuki patted Kyo's back and went back to bed, leaving the Cat alone to stare at the TV snow and stand in the eerily dim light the iPod gave off. Kyo reached for the iPod, but snapped back when the TV snow stopped and a face popped up.

"Hello, Kyo,"

"AHH!" Kyo screamed, because he's a girly person.

"Don't be alarmed, I bring you no har-"

"AHH!"

"I don't bring you any harm-"

"AHH!"

"Oh, the for the love Akito! Shut up!"

Kyo stopped the loud noise and stared down at the person inside the iPod. It seemed to be a girl. Maybe. Kyo wasn't too sure.

"Who are you?"

"Me?" The iPod chick asked. "I'm iLeena. The daughter of Sir iWilliam iPod and iMary iPod. I also have a brother, called iMax. He works in a theatre now."

Kyo then heard the mighty authoress. She felt like interrupting. Again.

"In Australia, iMax is a giant theatre. It has the biggest movie screen in Australia. Maybe the whole Southern Hemisphere. Mighty authoress doesn't know"

Then the voice went away. Boohoo.

The girl called iLeena stared up at Kyo. He gave her a questionable look.

"I need you to help me!" She flicked her short, black hair and curled it between two fingers. "Please?"

"NO!" Kyo yelled, because he yells at everything remotely alive. "You won't work for me! I refuse to believe there is a girl inside my iPod! Dammit!"

The girl sighed loudly. "I will play your stupid iPorn if you help me get free."

"WOOHOO! PORN!"

Of course, Kyo couldn't say no to porn. He picked up the iPod and walked to his bedroom. He sat on the edge of his bed and stared at the iPod, waiting for the screen to unblur.

"So," He started. "What do I have to do?"

"You have to make an international call to Australia to iMax Theatre! That way iMax can come and save me! And I can get back to iMummy and iDaddy!"

"O.O" Kyo stared, because everything had to start with a lower case 'i'! Dayam!

"Um… alright. I suppose you know the phone number, huh?" Kyo asked, sighing. He walked down stairs again to the phone and picked it up.

"First you have to type in 820040 to set the international call to Australia," iLeena began. "Now, type in 09 for Melbourne. Now 98327191!"

"Will anyone be there?" Kyo asked, because it was like 2am in Japan.

"Of course! It's lunchtime in Australia!" iLeena laughed. The phone began to ring. It rang and rang. Kyo went to get some pocky.

"Someone answered!" Yelled iLeena from within the cursed iPod.

"G'day? G'day mate, ya there?" Kyo didn't understand the foreign accent, but tried his best to talk to the young man on the other end of the phone.

"Uh, hi,"

"Eh, g'day mate and welcome to da iMax Theatre! What can I do yer for? A ticket, maybe?"

Kyo scratched his head. Damn Australians!

"Um… I'm looking for a guy named… iMax…"

"Eeehh!" The Australian guy said in a very Australian accent. "Ya one of d'ose people ringin' about iMax, huh? You're a forry, eh?"

"Forry?"

"Ya! A foreigner!"

Kyo didn't know what a foreigner was, so he didn't say anything.

"Anyways, ya been caught on the money scandal that that Sir iWilliam 'as been catchin' people on! Ya ring up to find the girl's brudda, and 'e don't exist! Sorry bloke!"

The man hung up. Kyo held the receiver to his ear for a very long time, processing what the man had said. His eyes moved into a glare formation

"iLeena? Is it true?"

The girl was twiddling her thumbs. Kyo glared at her.

"My iMummy wanted me to do it!" She managed to scream out, before Kyo smashed her to pieces. He wiped his hands on his pants and went to the living room to find Shiggy. There was resurrection afoot!

.xxx.

Tohru had decided to come down and get a glass of milk. She had been scarred the other day, but was happy now, because it would never happen again. Or, at least she thought. Walked down the stairs, she noticed Kyo standing over someone… naked!

"Kyo!"

He turned around and noticed the stunned girl staring at Shiggy's goods.

"I'm resurrecting him." He said, whilst bitch slapping the naked man. Shiggy began to splutter.

"If quizzes are quizzical… what are… tests?" Shiggy muttered as he came around. Kyo sniffled with joy!

"Testicle!" He yelled with happiness. Yuki was coming in at this time.

"Cover your shame, Shiggy,"

So he did. And wasn't everyone happy!

"So," Tohru said. "Everyone's happy now! Nothing can ever go wrong again! The iPod is dead and so is iLeena! Shiggy is alive and he has clothes on! And even Yuki and Kyo are talking!"

And so it seemed that no one would ever hear of that damned iPod again. And life couldn't be better for the Sohma's and Tohru…

The brother and sister duo, iMax and iLeena were jailed for being horrible little assholes, but the iMax Theatre was left up in Australia to remind everyone never to do such things.

And so, life was good.

Until Kyo picked up a catalogue and noticed to latest new iPod on sale.

"Shiggy! I want one!"

End.

**A/N:**

**Yay! Such joy!**

**Thanks for reading!**


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